Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Audit Shooting Script

Audit

Screenplay By Jerry Carpenter

For Direction by Jon Clucas

© 2007 Bad Mutha Booboisie Productions

















COLD OPEN

1. EXT-APARTMENT BUIDLING GROUNDS/NIGHT

It’s cold outside a local college apartment building. It’s also the middle of the night. A few lights can be seen on in the apartments. It is college after all. Bed times are voluntary. There is a wide shot of the front end of the building. In the front of the building, there is a small burn barrel with a large fire blazing. Next to the barrel, there are a couple boxes, full of non-descript contents. Reaching into these boxes are MORGAN and TANYA. A medium shot reveals more of our characters. MORGAN is dressed in glasses, a thick winter coat, and pajama pants. His is particularly somber. TANYA is dressed for the weather, but is also in pajama pants. TANYA reaches into the box, and pulls out a photo. A mid to close-up shot shows the photo pass between TANYA and MORGAN. The photo is thrown into the fire. A close-up of the burning photo reveals the picture of a girl whose faces is slowly consumed by the flames. As the photo whittles away, a stack of receipts is thrown on top.

2. TITLE CARD (And Top Credits, if necessary)

3. EXT-APARTMENT BUILDING GROUNDS/DAY

It’s the exact same establishing wide shot as before, except it’s day and only MORGAN stands outside. A medium shot reveals he is staring at a letter, looking very worried. From the front of the building emerges TANYA. She walks over to MORGAN.

TANYA:

Okay, Morgan. I don’t have a problem staying up all night like a junior high kid burning memories of your ex, but I can only be supportive for so long, especially on a Saturday, with no class, and ample sleep time.

MORGAN (ignoring her):

She’s doing it to me. She’s sticking it to me.

TANYA:

What? What are you—

TANYA notices the letter.

TANYA:

Oh god, is that a paternity test? Or did she give you something? Let’s calm down. If she gave you something. . .don’t freak. . .most things are curable. . .most things. . .

MORGAN:
It’s worse. I’m being audited by the IRS.

TANYA:

Wha--?

MORGAN:

Oh, cruel fate! Karma has it out for me!

TANYA stares at him.

TANYA:

Am I missing something? You’re being audited by the IRS?

MORGAN nods as he bites his lip.

MORGAN:

Suffrage is my burden to bear!

TANYA:

Okay, first of all, suffrage is the right to vote, so you sound like an eighth grade girl. And this has what to do with Miranda? What, was she like some super spy for the IRS, looking to bust you’re financially lucrative poetry blog? An audit is serious stuff, especially for a dumb, sorry, but still dumb, overemotional college student! We need to find your receipts and W-2’s and stuff! C’mon!

MORGAN:

There are no receipts.

TANYA:

Is this some kind of existential thing, like there is no true purpose, or something?

MORGAN:

No. I burned the receipts. All of them. They reminded me of her.

TANYA:

WHAT?! Your receipts are what’s gonna save you from paying out the backside to the IRS! You couldn’t possibly have spent a years income on her!

MORGAN:

I keep my financial stuff in little box. Those receipts were plastered in her aura. That aura tainted everything else. All is for naught!

TANYA:

You’re an idiot! Stop it! Stop it right now! You’ve done this with so many girls in your life! You date a few days, you become attached, they dump you, and your whole life comes to a stand still! You can keep living like this! I demand an explanation for these shenanigans! What do you have to say?

MORGAN:

Miranda was different! She was the one!

TANYA:

How do you know? You’re not smart enough or mature enough or. . .or. . .I don’t know what! It’s time to grow up. For once, this funk of yours is going to deal real damage! Seriously, maybe this audit’s a good thing. In fact, maybe you need to audit your whole friggin’ life! “Her aura tainted the receipts?!” AHHHH!

TANYA storms off. MORGAN just stands there, tears running down his face.

4. EXT-APARTMENT BUILDING GROUNDS/DAY

Same establishing wide shot as before. MORGAN sits on the ground with his back to the barrel. Medium shot as before. The letter sits in his lap. TANYA comes walking outside.

TANYA:

Morgan, I’m sorry.

Listen, I’ve known you a while, and as your best friend, I’ve been kind of jerk in trying to help you through this. But listen, pining over a relationship that lasted three weeks is nothing prepared to what’s going to happen if you don’t do something about this audit. I looked it up, and while its rare audits like this happen, you’re one of the unlucky ones. But I am sorry. So, those missing financial records, those might be a problem, but I got a cousin who’s a legal aid, so we might get to figure this out. C’mon, let’s do the adult thing.

MORGAN:

You’re right, Tanya.

TANYA:

I am?

MORGAN:

Yes.

TANYA:

About what, growing up?

Morgan:

No, about being unlucky. And this audit proves it. I can’t be happy, but I can try to escape the luck.

TANYA:

Oh—

MORGAN:

I’m going to live off the grid. With my financial records destroyed, thanks to Miranda, I can live in secret. From there, I will find away to become one, and then perhaps—

TANYA:

Morgan, I don’t—

TANYA stops, and then changes her tune.

TANYA:

You know what, you’re right. You’re absolutely right. And I’ll go with you.

MORGAN:

Really?

TANYA:

It’s the only way. You take off now, and I’ll meet you at the bus station in an hour, OK?

MORGAN:

Thank you! You’ve taught me the greatest lesson of all—that when life gets you down, you get down on life.

We see the wide shot again, as MORGAN gets up and takes off. TANYA stand there, and we cut back to a medium shot.

TANYA:

Why did I even—

TANYA shakes her head, walks inside, giving the obvious indication she has no intention of meeting up with MORGAN. As she walks inside, a receipt flies by.

THE END.

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